The JNAC Chronicles

I keep putting this off.  But I looked at my calendar and realized this coming Monday is the day we had planned to meet you, Ciara, in Las Vegas.  I haven't even talked to Jenny about the trip but I won't be able to make it.  A few days ago at my ultrasound, Brandon and I found out our baby has anencephaly.  I'm going to carry my baby to term and then we'll bury him next to my Dad and brother.  I see two different doctors on Monday because I have only been with a midwife this pregnancy.  I'm still throwing up and constantly nauseated at 19 weeks, though with Ben and Anika the sickness ended at 12 weeks.  But even with no appointments or barfing, I am certainly not up to the day date... hardly leaving the house.  I could have postponed breaking the news forever... it sucked to actually type the words.  I'm so sad and scared.  Thought I'd better fill you in so you're not expecting me Monday.  But I love you all... God bless.