Changes...

...you may be unaware of.

Our trip to Lake Arrowhead went well even though I was feeling sick the entire time. Anika was a trooper and slept in a "nest" with Emmet, pretending they were birds. When we got home, Anika politely informed me that she would like Daddy to move her nest into her room and her crib out. So finally she is in a big kid bed, albeit pretending to be Tweety bird.

So the crib went into the play room where a baby will be sleeping in it in February. That's right, I'm pregnant. Seven weeks. It's weird how you forget what it feels like. I remembered but I didn't. So I am enjoying puking and feeling weak. This is a whole new ballgame while concurrently caring for a three-year-old.

I quit my job. I realize that a lot of women go to work while feeling this crappy and just suck it up but not for so little $$. Summer really slows down at PF. So much so, it's not even worth the gas $ to drive over there. So, I'm done. It's kind of sad and I go a little crazy in the head not working outside of the home, even if it just was my measly 10 hours a week.

Remember how my car broke down about seven times recently? Man, if there ever were a "lemon", that car was one. It has given us nothing but grief and repairs since the month we bought it. So, it needed $2,000 in more repairs! $2,000 we certainly don't have. So it was either drum it up on some credit card or trade it in. Miraculously, we got $5,000 out of it for a trade-in and I now drive a minivan. Yes, folks. A white, Volkswagen Routan minivan. Our payment on the Saturn Vue was $150 and now our payment is $300, a jump up but at least I can budget around it now... you can't budget a surprise $2,ooo. I swore I'd never do it but every time I tried to nurse Anika in the car or change a diaper, the perpetual, longing chant inside my head was minivan. minivan. minivan. I'm a lady now, aren't I? Bummer.

That's about it.

I remember a moment about four months ago. Things had been the same forever. Life just seemed like no changes were on the horizon and I was getting restless. And now I just laugh and long for that phase. It was such a reminder that each little phase is brief. You can never go back. So I'm trying to remember that and enjoy all the little things... especially these last months where Anika gets all the attention. Just me and her. Man, her world is about to be rocked. Along with mine. I'm terrified, actually.