To Nicole:

YES! Revelation! The under wire! It just so happens that I spent the better part of tonight trying on every single bra at the mall. Without success.

But I do have big news... I found them! The chosen ones! For $12 at target. They are thin, not hot pink, and I can't feel any pressure on my fat waist... I think these sweatpants could be the ones. It's as if my body is the disembodied soul of the Dalai Llama that just located its next, meant-to-be body (which would be sweatpants) and slipped right in to home. Still with me? And all the while the world was looking for where the Dalai Lama's reincarnated soul had been reborn. They're black gauchos and they bring peace, enlightenment.

I just can't understand why I'm so sensitive. I swear, if I can feel the slightest pressure in the smallest place I want to kill somebody with a spoon or other blunt object. So much for pacifism.

So, last night I had a dream that you owned your own helicopter and flew it yourself all the way to the drugstore just to buy me eyeliner. Then you delivered my new eyeliner in your helicopter.

Also. Baby shower invites are going in the mail tomorrow so I will have to bring you the ones to deliver. Not homemade, sorry. I suck. But your helicopter rocks, girl!