Practice Makes Perfect

Check out today's Travelin'Oma prompts.
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Don't do anything for your kids that they could do themselves.

This brought an instant smile to my face. And lots of memories. I would not doubt if the mother who first said this was my own.

The first memorable incident was when my Mom decided I was old enough to order for myself at restaurants. We were at a McDonalds and I was horrified. I remember staring at the girl behind the counter (Staring up. I must have been 4 or 5.) and then back at my Mom who was saying, "Well honey, if you'd like to eat something, you'd better order." I didn't order. I just couldn't. So I didn't eat. This happened at a few more family outings before I realized my Mom meant business. No one meant more business than my Mom. She was calm and kind but nothing was more final than her words. If she said I had to order my own food if I wanted any, she sure as hell meant it. She never gave in to anything and I'm so grateful for it.

After a few eating-out meals spent hungry, I started ordering my own food. It made me so proud. Isn't that the idea? Instilling self reliance and CONFIDENCE in our children?

The next really memorable item was nail clipping. I can remember the exact moment. And the words spoken... "It's time you learn to do this yourself, Alana. I know it's hard to use your left hand. But practice makes perfect. You'll see." I was mad. I was seven. If my Mom loved me she would help me clip and paint my right hand. If I had a nickel for every time in my life my Mom said to me Practice Makes Perfect. I am forever capitalizing that phrase.

As I grew into an adult I realized just how much confidence my Mother gave me. I grew into someone who feels self-assured in all situations. I can hold my own ground in any battle. I feel like I could do anything in the world if I wanted. All thanks to my Mom.

As I grew into a Mother I realized just what a pain in the ass all this teaching can be. It really is easier to do everything for them. (Would it not have been easier to just yell happymeal for me? Certainly easier than watching me squirm, then starve?) But doing everything for them is selfish. It's so funny to watch a toddler try to put on their clothes or take them off. The moment they don't know how to pull down their own pants is the moment you realize holy guacamole! somebody taught me how to pull down my own pants! AND climb up on the potty and go all by myself! All thanks to my Mom. (I can't tell her how many times that potty thing has come in handy.)

I love nothing more than watching my little girl gain confidence in herself. Seeing her accomplish things all on her own helps me gain confidence in myself -my parenting, and we both beam with pride.

You can imagine my delight when my now- 69- year-old mother came to me a few weeks ago and asked me to paint her toenails. I gave her the whole speech, memorized from a lifetime of listening to it... "Mom, I know you can't see your toes very well without your glasses but if you start relying on others to do these things for you now, you're going to slip into old age... Practice Makes Perfect."