Sleep

Last night was an award winner. I didn't shut my eyes until 4a.m. Nights are always hard with a newborn and as the sun sets, the dread sets in too. I never hear a peep from Anika for 12 hours but last night she was having a freak out too. When I put her to bed she could hear Ben crying and I said I was going to go feed him. Apparently she thought I was coming back after so when she woke up in the middle of the night and realized I hadn't come back after feeding him, she lost her mind. I told her to come get in bed with me, yada yada yada, aaaaand she was then awake for three hours, along with me and Ben.

My Mom never lets me complain for long. About anything. It's been that way my whole life. She'll let me get it off my chest and then remind me of all the good things. She is so funny and made up a whole scenario for me to think about. She told me to just think of the Mom in Japan who's my age with a baby boy born on the same day as Ben. They have no electricity, food, water. The husband is gone, baby is colicky, and all its cute little clothes were washed away in the tsunami. She even made up a name for the poor Japanese baby. The weird thing to think about is this girl and baby are real. There really is a baby that exact age and in that exact scenario, surely. That poor mother!

So when I'm awake at night, walking laps around my dining table, trying to calm Ben, I turn my thought pattern to gratitude for my warm house and food, a healthy baby, and a cozy bed. Gratitude truly is the key to happiness. And my Mom is expert.
___________________

I've seen some interesting television the last four weeks in the wee hours. It had been years since I watched Three's Company and it's kind of growing on me again... Come and knock on my door. When Anika was a baby, all I watched in the middle of the night was the weather channel.


This is me, glued to my rocking chair and nursing. And what I look like desperate for sleep. I'm pretty sure my flesh is growing into the fabric like that 1,000 lb woman who didn't leave her couch for a few years. Also pretty sure I'm soon to be a 1,000lb woman if I don't stop drinking 1,000+ calories a day in cranberry juice. I've been on this cranberry juice thing for two months now. C a n ' t. Q u i t. T h e. J u i c e.

But back to nursing and mothering. I'm tired. But happy to do it. :) And grateful for my healthy and happy boss...

I've wasted a good amount of daylight playing with photo booth on Janna and Mike's new ipad.