moving

You see this top photo? We went to storage to get a bench for Janna's new house. You remember STORAGE(clicky click), don't you? Who could have imagined the bench would be in the very back, on the bottomest bottom, piled with the boxiest boxes from floor to ceiling?

First, I had to make sure Janna understood procedure: "All the furniture likes to be referred to in the feminine. And you have to say 'git r done'. And you should grunt a lot. This junk likes it like that." At least that's how we used to roll at Skinny Bitches Moving Co. (Cara is much stronger than she looks.)

Next: to ascertain if she was really down there somewhere. We weren't about to do heavy lifting without an assurance of the little lady's exact location. I creeped carefully in, over lifetimes of stuff, reached down and started to feel around blindly. "Welp, she's down there all right," said Dr. Alana, "I'd say she's at least 95 % effaced and dilated to 4 or 5 centimeters. It won't be long now."

That's when the demolition derby began. Couches were sliding down the hall. Garbage bags went a flyin'. Knuckles were a bleedin'. I tried to remember my counting and breathing techniques. At around 8 centimeters, just entering transition, our She Storage wanted to give up. But we just couldn't quit now.

And then it happened. We had our hands on her! Nurse Janna was holding one end and I the other. With one last grunt of git r done she was rounding the corner and heading out the door. "She's crowning! She's crowning!" yelped Dr. Alana, suddenly realizing two guys down the hall were cracking up. They had been listening to our hard labor the whole time. I'm glad someone besides me thought it was hysterical.

With a sigh of relief her ordeal was finally over. We wrapped the 80 pounder in Brandon's pink blankie and laid her in the back of the pick-up truck. A girl. A sweet little girl. Congratulations Janna. She's just beautiful!

The team went right back to work. There were some third degree tears but we got her back together. In fact, I think she looks better than before.

THE END

Now. On Moving. I'm familiar with the concept. Last time I counted I have lived in 27 homes in my lifetime. I went to 4 high schools in 3 years. I have gotten really, really good at moving. In my adult life Cara was always my moving buddy. We would awake early, go without food, and drink only red bull. We would get hyper and aggressive with the heavy appliances but we got r done. We would call everything "her" and "she", joke about starting our own moving company, and say "sons a bitches" a lot. It wasn't pretty. But by sunset we would be finished and eating delivery pizza.

My Mom is another story entirely. Even I, her own daughter, cannot fathom ever getting her life straight in my mind. I know what state she was born in and then it gets really confusing. She has lived so many places, I wouldn't dare her to add it up. In St. George alone she has covered more homes than most do in a lifetime. The last time she went to rent a U Haul for Cara, the guy didn't even ask for her I.D. or name. Though my Mom didn't recognize him, he said, "Oh no, we certainly have you in our records." She says she is a gypsy.

I think a little of that gypsy is in me. I have been so stable for so long. It really freaks me out sometimes. I love my house and I know I will be here a while. It's a comforting thought but also slightly suffocating. I love moving in to something new and picking out what drawer will hold the silverware. Or the spices. I like a little refreshment now and then.

Now. My Mom's storage units. We have not gotten around to sorting anything. We have all of my Dad's things. All of Alex's. Could people quit dying, please? Give us a chance to catch up. I think we are all finally ready emotionally to sell or donate their things. It's an awful feeling to get rid of their stuff. I hold those things as proof they were once here. It's like: See, he had slippers, I told you he was here!

The bottom picture is our family's second storage unit. None of us have a garage here in St. George so this is where we keep bikes, camping and backpacking things, baby toys, cribs, etc. All of my closets are cleaned and everything went to storage. I made Anika a little play fort underneath the stairs. Everything is so minimal now at home. Much better feng shui. I love it.