Her Own Woman

Some would theorize I can force Anika to do anything I want simply by disciplining her tough enough. And I suppose that could be true but at the expense of breaking her little soul. I've been doing some thinking. Anika doesn't react so intensely to the world and new situations just to be difficult and to make my life hard. She is so intense because she really, truly feels things that intensely. What other motivation would a one-year old have for rejecting with screams the unfamiliar juice, or stranger in her home? Anika is a real person that has come into my life, her OWN person. She developed her personality before she even came here and started showing it off days after birth! She is not a robot to be programmed. She is not a blank slate to be written upon. She is a person who in her own way talks to me and tells me what she likes and what she hates. My job as a parent isn't to change who she is but help her learn to manage her own INTENSITY. My job isn't to force but to gently and lovingly lead and encourage while maintaining her trust in me. I want every day for her to be positive. I'm trying harder to realize that her reactions are REAL to her. She isn't just trying to be dramatic. I try to listen to her needs and respond to her fears, while nudging her along into new territory ever so slightly and gently. She is such an interesting little person. I never expected her to be so... herself... but I guess that's because I hadn't met her yet. It is such a beautiful and wonderful experience to get to know this little lady. I only hope and pray I can be what she needs in a Mother. I love you Anika darling.