You think it's too early? Then why can't I sleep at night?! It's horrible and I can hardly get by without at least half of a Unisom. I couldn't decide lastnight if I was hot or cold... going from the sweats to chills in minutes, my mind racing. Residual illness? My steak dinner? My toddler who sleeps and wakes like a newborn because I let her get away with it? All possible culprits.
Before Anika I would just get in bed, shut my eyes and it was morning. It was hardly more than a very long blink and required no effort. Oh wait, I used to do stuff, that's right. I used to run, work, and teach ballet for hours. Hmmmmm. Perhaps I should... do stuff?
Brandon and I went on a date last night. Anika went to Grandmas and we went to Scaldoni's. Maybe the eye contact and conversation with this husband/Daddy character that also lives here in this house was too much for my brain waves? It was like meeting a stranger for a blind date. And a great reminder: Hey, I like this guy!
But mostly my brain just gets thinking and I can't draw the curtain. On stage last night: spray tans, mine and Dierks' Montana ranch, indigestion and fractal antennas. How irritating, huh? Even Brandon, king of fractal geometry, ruler of the theory's underworld, president of the rain men, cannot explain why fractal antennas are so stupendous. I mean, I get it. I've been told: the capacitors and inductors but... I just can't wrap my brain around the pure beauty of it. I feel like I look at the world and SEE it and get it but the big secret is just without my reach.
So... I just stare, wide awake, tossing and turning like a toddler, sweatin' like my Mother, determined to get to the bottom of it all. Somebody_ just knock me out with a bat. Would you, please?
Sunday, January 25, 2009
Menopausal?
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4 comments:
Unisom, that cheap over the counter crap has no affect. I took one for a couple of days and nothing. I was still laying there all night contemplating the whole existence. The whole bat to the head might work well though. We will have to see as the whole existence thing plays out.
Try ambien... OR... come to the gym with me tonight!!!!
On my mind last night: The floor plan of my dream house. I changed the direction of the stairs and now have them crossing the library. I also decided to veto the Thomas Jefferson quote I was going to post over the library door: "A room without books is like a soul without a body"
Though I love the quote and whole heartedly believe it to be truth, Thomas Jefferson was a pladgerizing manipulative fiend whom I detest and loath.
It was a difficult decision, but it came down to principle.
ha ha ha, I love it Nicole. You made my day and put a smile on my face. I will be chuckling to myself all day. The manipulative fiend... love it.
And Paul, maybe you SHOULD get Ambien. I won't take it anymore because I hallucinated on it pretty badly. We were camping. I went out of the tent to pee and got lost. Then I saw lava. Then I saw double- but not double of everything. It was a really tripy and horrible experience that I don't care to repeat. But it really works wonders for my sister.
And surely it would be better than the bat.???
Ya people have told me that the stuff works really well, maybe to well if you have toddlers at home sleeping here with you and you are their sole provider in the evenings. Or else I would probably be taking them at about 4 o'clock in the afternoon waking at midnight and then taking another and just living that way. Probably wouldn't be ok going back to the doctor twice as soon asking for more when it should have lasted twice that long.
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