OK- one hour ago I was flying high- things under my belt- smiling at will...
Now I'm in the deepest LONGEST darkest depression. I want to run away and never come back. I feel like jumping out of my own skin- like I'm in my own personal Prison D'if.
Let me explain: IT ALL STARTED WITH YOUNG WOMENS.
I got called to YM as Laural adviser- not really bumbed about, but then again I haven't had to do anything yet until our first meeting tonight. It's not even YW that has me shoveling in the cookie dough right now...
We just got back from SLC and made a stop at IKEA. SO fun- I was thinking of all sorts of ways I could use IKEA to spruce up some crapy apartment and make it livable for the next few years until we could aford a house. I was actually getting excited- like it was a challenge I couyld gain some real satisfaction in tackeling.
I was OK having gone to 10 years of school and working by fingers to the bone at school and making/having no money. I was fine thinking $$$ does not matter to me and I don't need it, and my husband is really hot and I'm happy no matter what we don't have...
Then I went to this young womens meeting and saw them all.
The other advisors and leaders.
They were coming from houses and had keys to SUV's.
They were complaining of dirty dishes and unmade beds.
They were taking notes on where they lived in comparison to eachother.
They belonged.
They were settled.
They new so and so
and what's her name
and, didn't she teach my daughter in miamaids ten years ago?
They knew where they were going to be living next month.
They had been pulling sweaters out of their basements every Fall for the last 7 Falls.
They had been pulling underwear out of the same drawers every morning for the last forever mornings.
They were going to refill soaps next week
and buy a costco card next month.
They were going to drive home to their home tonight, and tomorrow, and next year(s).
They had garage door openers
and justified addiction to HDTV.
Most of all- they were there as tghey had been there and would be there.
They belonged.
They haven't been living out of suitcases for a year
Their stuff hasn't been in storage more than half of thier mariage.
They haven't forgotten where the Christmas sweaters are or which place you put this or that.
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I'm not saying fate has dealt us a raw deal. On the contrary. I still believe we have it great. I don't think we have had bad luck. I don't blame our suitcases on anyone or any market.
I AM NOT A VICTIM OF CIRCUMSTANCE.
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...
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I'm just depressed.
(you can tell, because I'm not even going to proof read)
Sunday, August 30, 2009
Posted by Nic at 8:26 PM
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4 comments:
whelp, sounds like we're due for a hang out! i'm an ear to vent whenever you need one! i hope you feel better- the cookie dough will help- keep shoveling! i'm just settling in for a chocolate milkshake. love ya lots!
Laurel Adviser???? WHAT!!!!!!! How bout that, one of the ladies I tend for is in YW in that ward too, I think she is with Mia Maids maybe? That could be really fun. I feel the same way about the suitcase and such-it gets a little frustrating, overwhelming,and everything else you could think of, but its okay-as long as you have cookie dough or some sort of yummy treat!
Oh how I can relate!!!!! It does get quite depressing. But then I remember how freaking cool it really is to NOT have mundane repetition. The unknown is an adventure!!!
I am with Carly on this. The unknown is an adventure. I am probably one of those women that you are referring to from your meeting. People always want what they don't have. You are going to be a great teacher and the girls will love you for your unique and fun personality.
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