Santa Barbara

I'm really on a roll with this blogging thing. Who knew I would ever be able to keep up on it? Prepare yourselves for the longest post ever. I'm still waiting for you guys to ban me from this blog and make it the JCPN ey. But really, I'm kind of abusing it as my journal and want to get one of those blog books. Anyway, Meet the extended family...



These are my first cousins Kyra and Tory, so I guess that would make them and Anika 2nd cousins? I'm still a little confused about all of that. They were best friends the whole trip.


Now tell me this isn't weird: For Alex and my Dads funerals we put a long-stemmed red rose, one representing each of the family members on their thingamajig... can't say it or spell it... ugggh, coffin, swallow hard. So, the whole family is sitting on the beach, and two fresh long-stemmed roses wash up on the beach from the ocean! They were soo fresh, and washed up, not even kidding, right in front of us. I think it was maybe a little "hello".... one from each of them. That night, at dinner at my Aunts, we put them in a vase on the table and it was just so symbolic and lovely. But honestly, how strange is that? In all my life spent on the beach, nothing has ever washed up, let alone fresh and coincidentally RED roses. Where did they come from?
I was disappointed Brandon couldn't come. And not just for my own sake. I wanted him to experience a "different kind" of family reunion. Mariachi music, catered Mexican food, long days at the beach. I am a transplant to his world, and I think he should visit MINE!
On Sunday we went to my Uncle's church. He is a Presbyterian minister, that is his paid job! He has been the minister for like 20 years and they built this new church on the property. It is gorgeous and cleverly has a cry room in the back with 2-way mirrors for all the Mommies. It even has a crib. Anyway, it was really cool... even got to sing "Morning Has Broken", no not the Cat Stevens version. I wish we had that hymn in our book. But we did sing one that we have too. How long 'till I get paid for visiting teaching?
She is obsessed with stepping up and down on things and spent an hour doing just that on my Aunt Kris' surfboard. She really put on a show for everyone... just kept jumping off and yelling "Happy Day!" She was saying "Happy Day" perfectly that whole day. I think it was her best "happy day" ever.
Anika would just run into the ocean over her head if I didn't stop her. My whole childhood was spent summers at my Grandma's beach house and sitting on "our" beach in San Clemente. It felt good to share with Anika what I did as a little girl... the smells, the sounds, oh how I wish I could take her to the beach everyday. It felt like coming home.

Last but not least, The house. I think these awesome planters on the porch speak for themselves. Seriously, this house was pure perfection in every way. I'm still dreaming...
This is the guest room. I love, love, LOVE bare concrete floors. I wish everything there was for sale, bedding, etc.
This big barn door slides across to cover the office, and the whole house is floor-to-ceiling windows.
The floor plan is a U shape, everything opening out onto a gorgeous patio with ocean view, of course. The master has giant french doors, and since the weather is always perfect, all the doors were always open. The master bedroom was just like having a wall missing. This is Anika on the patio.
How awesome and funky is this living room? I was sad to leave, mostly because I love that house! Can I have it?... pleeeeaase?

All in all, we had tons of fun. Sure, there were plenty of times when it was beyond difficult with Anika... screaming fits, leaving early, horrible nights where neither of us slept. There were a few moments, like when I woke up to a bladder infection, Anika had an explosion in her half-on diaper, and she cracked her head in the tub (yes, this was all within 10 minutes) that I swore I would go home and never leave my house again. But, the fun makes up for it and you just learn to expect that part of traveling with kids is going to be pure hell. But worth it!!!

5 Years!

Well, it has been 5 years since the big day. This Anniversary seems special because it is Tuesday and we were married on a Tuesday night around 7 p.m. I hope we get some thunderstorms, just like our wedding. We are going to go out tonight, which is something we have not done since Anika was born. The other day when we drove to Pine Valley Anika was napping in her seat so I rode in the front with Brandon and we commented that even riding in the front together felt like a date. My Mom is going to babysit and even put her to bed. I don't know how she'll take it, as I have put her to bed every night since birth except once. Honestly, I don't even care how she'll take it. (at least that's what I'm telling myself) She is 15 months today and it's ABOUT DANG TIME that Mom and Dad went on a date! Do you think I'll get diamonds or panties? ha ha he he he he he... Yeah right, IF I got anything it would be something Brandonesque... card, fly line, a mop, I don't know, something non-romantic for sure. I take it back, his cards are always really romantic.

Hey Ciara, you would be WAY PROUD of the St. George girls. We went to lunch at 25 Main and then did some shopping, just like true girlfriends. Yes! All 3 of us! We were saying that if you lived here we would probably hang out all of the time because you tend to be the glue that holds us together... and we thank you for it. Much of the conversation centered around your upcoming visit. We can't wait.

Nicole, you are next for the big 5 year anniversary!

Got me a thinkin' about..... guns?

Quinn's blog got me thinking about a little rant of my own, and since Anika is taking a morning nap (miracle), let me step upon my soap box.

"Arm Yourselves and FREE TIBET" was something my Dad came up with and fantasized about putting it on his truck in Telluride, where there are plenty of "Free Tibet" stickers, accompanied by just as many drum circles. My Dad certainly did not fit in in Telluride... a liberal hotspot of mostly East-Coast transplants and trust-fund babies. In the words of Edward Abbey "the air is thick with flying frisbees and the smell of cannibas sativa". "To-hell-you-ride", he called it. I was only 17 when I first read those famous Abbey words, and I hadn't even been there... "Mommy, isn't that where Daddy lives?" Yes, these are the people you see in the Patagonia catalog "administering relief" to some obscure country in their $400 recycled fleece jacket. "Trustafarians", my Dad called them. He was full of funny sayings, and also charm... which is how he managed to share a Telluride wife with his bookshelf of Ann Coulter books (yes, the lady with the adam's apple), and was practically mayor... sharing guns with the Prince of Jordan, and fly rods with Norman Schwartzkoff! I just think my Dad is great, can you tell? I worship him. He was the type of charm and intelligence that could earn the spotlight in any social situation, like a Queen's ball perhaps? Meet my Dad, the "drag-ass surveyor with sand in his blood"....





I tend to get way off the subject.

The other day we stopped at the Veyo store for one of those delicious pies, when in walks something you only see in "these parts". He was leathery. I know that. But my eyes were only drawn to his giant "NRA" belt buckle. I had to try not to laugh because I was thinking about something my brother-in-law Mike said last week. Mike is so witty and full of one-liners. We were talking about moving to the beach and I said I don't think I could because I am scared of tsunamis. I said "I think I only feel safe in the middle of the country." Mike replied, "Where all the guns are?" I am still laughing! Mike is so funny. You have just got to love MIDDLE AMERICA!

ANYWAY, if you are at all interested in gun rights, let me recommend a read for you. Check out THIS book. I've actually met this guy... as he dealt with our "little sitch" in Telluride, but had read his book a few years earlier, so I secretly wanted his autograph. I'm anything but politically active, but agree with a lot of his social theories... he is a big shot with the Libertarian Party. So, we've finally made it to my rant: If we take away guns, the criminals will still have them. It's the same thing with the prohibition of alcohol and drugs. Then, as if we don't have enough crime, we will have illegal weapon trafficking to deal with! Plus, since I obey the law, I will not be able to own a gun to protect myself. I do, however, think it is way too easy to get a gun. I could drive our truck to Wal-Mart right now and practically tell them to "fill 'er up". I like target shooting and the elk-hunt as much as the next gal, BUT, it needs to be WAY HARDER to get a gun. Please just don't anyone ever tell me that I don't have the right to one! Just imagine if you had a stalker. If I feel threatened in any way, you better bet your bippy I want the right to have a weapon.

Case in point: Brandon was gone to Boulder Mountain for a week and I was home alone. I'll admit, I'm a little paranoid, but one morning I was absolutely positive there was someone in my house. I swear I even saw a shadow under my door. In my mind at the time, there INDEED was someone in my house. I locked myself in the bathroom and tried to figure out what to do. Being the paranoid and overly-cautious girl that I am, I already had a 10-round loaded clip waiting for me beside the rifle my Dad gave me. I also had some mace in the bathroom drawer, but that definitely wasn't going to cut it. So... out I come.... A) In my underwear, B) with my heart pounding out of my chest, and C) with a loaded rifle. I searched the whole house, sure I was going to die, all the while yearning for something more convenient... like a .45 with hollow points. I asked my Dad once, "why hollow points?" He said, "That's so you don't have to call 911.) So, I'm a little jumpy? There was no intruder but I slept the next two nights with a loaded gun under my bed.

Moral of the story: Don't ever come into my house unannounced, especially sneakily, you will probably be shot. So sorry! "An armed society is a polite society." -Robert A. Henlein.

I do, though, have a problem with people's ignorance of gun safety. When you get a hunting license you have to go on the "field trip" where they see you shoot, and how you handle your business. And that's just to shoot some feathers! I worry a lot about how people store their guns, and where? And here in middle America, boy have people got guns! The ignorance of gun safety is as annoying and prevalent as the ignorance of child-seat safety. Please, if you are going to handle something as dangerous as a firearm or a toddler, learn how to use it.

I hear ya

Nicole, per our conversation the other week, and the comments about picking fights with Quinn, I have felt inspired to share my lovely photojournalism essay entitled "Loneliness in Marriage". This was our first year and I couldn't understand why Brandon would fall asleep on the carpet, face down, every night around 8 p.m. Why didn't he want to stay up and talk to me, touch me, and look at the stars? I was so depressed one night about the lack of companionship that I took these photos just to entertain myself. The first is, of course, Brandon in Pleasantville and the next is me and how much I longed for his company. What, you didn't know I had a brief stint in photojournalism? It's great, I know. These pictures from 2003 are typical of nearly every night since... we're coming up on our 5 year anniversary this Tuesday. Who's gonna ride your wild horses? Who's gonna drown in your deep blue sea? OK, I am laughing out loud right now because the pictures just uploaded and look at me! I'm a mess! Who really WOULD wanna ride those wild horses? I'm wearing my husband's T-shirt for Pete's sake... surely, that's nothing to stay up for. Brandon and I simply don't smoke the same brand, but I love him just the same.

Random Sampling

I've been out of the loop for a while now.  The latest is that I think I'm going mental.  I freak out regularly, I pick fights with Q constantly, and I'm never ever content.  I also have problems with people I should be showing unconditional love.  Why am I so uptight?  Why do I let EVERYTHING get to me and bug me? What is wrong with me?  Do you think I should pop a prosac?  Wouldn't hurt.   So my ultimate question(s) is this:  How do you let go?  How do you not let things get to you?  How do you make yourself not care?  How do you force yourself to become laid back?  How do you enjoy today without freaking out about how it will effect the future?  How do you release anxiety?  How do you accept mistakes and flaws? How do you stop thinking you know the solutions to everybody's problems?  How do you just be?  

How do you get outside your head for one decent moment of peace???!!!?!

Check out Meg's tight buns.  Oh- how it used to be... those yonder years of the past...  You know- the ones without cottage cheese.

Paul- does this remind you of anything?

One week of summer left and then it's back to slaving away among the degenerate leaders of tomorrow's welfare crisis.

I think I sweat my entire liquid mass index off in the first half hour of this year's PV hike.

WELL...

THE BIG B HAS DONE IT AGAIN! Seriously, what would I do if my husband couldn't whip anything I want out of thin air? I described the mirror I wanted for our bathroom and he built it from glass-crate wood... for free! OK, it cost $5 for new disc-sander paper!

I wanted the mirror on that huge wall so I could do my eternal pondering the place most people do it... on the pot. All joking aside, I always wanted a place in my house where I could see that effect throughout the day. It is a better reminder to me of the infinite plan than just about anything, besides a mobius strip. Little known fact: the Brandino and I wanted mobius strips for our wedding rings but couldn't pull it off.

Lastly, ALANA LOVES ORCHIDS. I always like to have a few in my house and I am determined to make them live longer than I previously have. I even bought orchid food. Didn't you guys miss hearing about my worthlessness? I bet it was nice when I was gone for a week and you didn't have to see my lame blogs??!! Seriously, feel free to BAN ME FOR LIFE from this blog. I'm a dork.

SPEAKING OF...

Speaking of the Little Colorado... isn't this picture awesome... it's the confluence of the Little Colorado and its Big Mama. It's the exact color of Havasupai.... just upriver with no Indians (feathers, not dots) and ZILCH tourists... actually just NOBODY for miles. Oooohhh, sweet Nankoweap!!!! Can I go there right now please? I'm also missing Vasey's Paradise like a dead relative, and Thunder River too... Deer Creek Falls ... I hope you are all still there. I think I would give a kidney to just cast a fly into Tapeats Creek right now. I feel homesick. Honk if you love the Grand Canyon!

WORD TO THE WISE

Mark my words: Don't ever paint your bedroom flourescent turquoise without thinking about it for at least an entire menstrual cycle... yes ladies, AT LEAST give it 28 days. You see, moods play a huge part, if not the entirety of all decisions. It's like when my hairdresser wouldn't give me bangs while I was pregnant.... so wise! I should have taken that little turquoise thought into my bosom for the ups and downs of a whole month and THEN see if I still have the "Mexicali blues". Instead, I hastily chose a color while in the midst of packing for my trip. I threw a few samples on and was on such a high that perhaps I said "I just feel like being so bold and bright". Well, now I feel like crawling in a hole and I feel like the blue is so bright that the hue it gives my skin is like some sort of TREATMENT. My own Mother even asked me if I was Mexican. (Is there something she's not telling me?) It's cotton-candy, it's smurf, it's juvenile, it's medicinal... yet remedial in NO way... more like poison really. OK, stop it Alana. This morning I woke up and thought, wait, this ain't so bad. And now I'm thinking, "Hey, am I really so dull and boring and scared that I can't have a bright bedroom?" How tragic would it be if I threw that pukey almond color back up immediately? What a boring weenie I would be! I think I'm a feelin' the BOLD all over again and will keep it. Plus, if I tell Brandon I want to re-paint I fear he will kill me in my sleep. No, I KNOW he will kill me in my sleep. So Havasupai-blue it is. Who even gives a rats a**?

What's up to all of my friends?
I am back in St george and yes Alana I did fill out an app at the Pasta Factory I am just waiting for them to make a sopt for me which I hope will happen.
Glad to see that all of you are doing well.
I am hoping to get a computer I am posting this from the library how lame is that?
It's freaken hot here not so fun.
I can't wait until Ciara gets here yeah!!!
Other than moving back and having nothing to do but watch tv and stare at the walls and drive around nothing is new hopefully I will have a job soon.
Love all of you
Jen

Williams - Last post for today!

Slip N Slide Racin'

Williams - Ballet Camp

Sage just finished Ballet Camp today. She had class for two hours everday this week. She looks so cute as a ballerina.

Herbie, doing what he does BEST!

Bye Bye

Well, Anika and I are off to California tomorrow. Brandon is bailing on us and we have been fighting about it for literally a week. He says we can't afford for him to miss work, which is no argument, but I was freaking because I feel like I can't do it alone. Sure, I'll have my family to help but its not the same. They don't know just what she needs, and how, and when. Plus, I can't boss them around. Just kidding! I like to pretend that Brandon is whooped but a little known fact about the Big B is that he is the most stubborn person I know. Once he decided he wasn't going, THAT'S IT. There is no talking him into anything. But we did manage some small consolation prize for myself. While I am gone he is going to paint our bedroom Havasupai Blue! I am so excited. So, when I am trying to sleep in the same room with Anika, in a strange house and she is up crying all night, or when I am hovering relentlessly over her inside of a non-baby-proof house, unable to visit and enjoy my family, I will just think of my blue room. It's still not worth it but it's a small little something to keep me going. That darn Brandon, I am still so ticked. Here is a picture of Anika with her first "hairdo". Thank you to Kasey for the special rubberbands. Whenever Anika sees me coming with a comb or a diaper she runs and hides behind her highchair. It's like her little zone where she thinks I can't get her.

GREY

I've done it.  I've posted the first chapters of my wretched, awful book online.  It's so bad that I've decided to write it all the way through to the end and then go back and fix the beginning.  Not much help, I know, for those reading the entre vous now.  Just keep in mind that I'm aware of how perfectly cheesy and sophomoric it is.  I SWEAR it is going somewhere good though.  Arch-Angels, the devil, and all that cliche stuff you'd expect in young adult lit.  If you never go read it I'll be happy.  But it's there for the taking and the ripping apart of.  It's SO painfully generic.  If you try to read... I'm sorry.

See GREY    HERE

So much for the Anika-blog diet

Janna with Anika and Emmet. I told her she looks good with 2!

Anika always refuses a bib. (among other things, like EATING) She finally agreed to a bib because I put one on. I was sick of finding surprises that dropped down into her diaper. Like the other night I found an asparagus spear that somehow had slipped in during dinner.

So, when Celine Dion had her baby boy years ago I saw several interviews with her. All she talked about was her baby and she talked about it like she was the only woman on earth who had ever given birth or experienced motherhood. It was SO ANNOYING. I told myself that I would never be that annoying and doting (at least in public), but here I am, and I think I'm worse than Celine. Sorry, I truly truly can't help it. Motherhood to me really does feel special, like I'm the first woman on earth to ever experience it and like I love Anika more than ANYONE LOVES ANYONE! I know this can't be true but it does feel like it. So seriously, I apologize. Maybe my CA trip will give me something new to talk/blog about. Please forgive me, I know not what I do. Well, I do, but I swear I can't stop myself from worshiping Anika, even knowing how annoying it must be. Perhaps I will be banned from our blog???

Some of Anika's words

Williams - More Garden Info

Since Alana asked I am going to brag. I am growing Spaghetti Squash (which is taking over the whole place), Zucchini, Sugan Ann Peas, Bush Green Beans, Lettuce (do you need some), Tomatoes, Strawberries, Blueberries, Apples, Peaches, and Pears. It is all very exciting! I am finally getting back into what I used to love doing years ago.

Speaking of a triathelete, Herb is actually the triathlete not me. He is doing a triathalon this coming Saturday the 12th. It is a 6 mile run, 3 mile kayak excursion, and a 15 mile mountain bike trail. He hasn't even had time to train so we will see how much pain he is in on Saturday night.

SUNDAY WITH DADDY

I went to church alone this week and when I came home Anika and Daddy were having a PARTY! The music was loud, quesadillas were flying off the grill, and Anika was prancing around in Daddy's socks. When I walked in the door she stopped in her tracks with a look on her face that said, "Mom's home... partys over!" She knows that it is funny when she wears Daddy's socks. I love it.

In other news, I think I might be 80 years old. I went to my vascular surgeon today to complain yet again of pain up in my hip area where the "intersection" of my deep and superficial veins is. (where they closed the vein). They did another ultrasound and everything looks fine. He says now that I have a femoral hernia. WTF?! I have to see a general surgeon to get his opinion if I should treat it now or just wait it out. Am I seriously an old woman? Why do I get all the old woman problems? Next thing you know I'm gonna hit menopause on my 28th birthday. I have my left leg saphenous vein surgery in November. Uggghhh. PREGNANCY!!!! It simply wreaks havoc! Oh yeah, more old woman diseases... my esophogeal ulcer! Back on the prilosec! I am plain nasty.

Choal... or is it chole???

Mom decided she wanted to hike choal again for her birthday.  We had a great time remembering how, back in 98 (circa), Paul pulled us through the swampy, muddy water until we could reach land to begin hiking. Wasn't that a fun trip???  Well, you may be surprised to know that it is TOTALLY different.  First of all, the mud has entirely washed out so in this first pic we are actually on top of a big cliff.  Remember how there were tons of little water falls 

about 4-5 feet high?  Now there is just one and it drops down pretty far into the canyon.  This pic below features its final drop to the canyon bottom.

The hike was also a great deal longer than yonder years.  It took the entire day.  Dad flew Mark and I in, leaving SGU @ 6:30 am.   We hit the houseboat in time for breakfast and then headed up Navajo canyon.  I think it took 3 hours to get up, an hour of play time, and 3 to get back.  Never mind the thundering booms from above on our way out.  Not the best sound to hear from a slot canyon.  Anyhow, we survived (with multiple blisters).  Can you believe it?  In the 11 years since I bought my buckle TEVA's in Zion with Ciara they have never given me grief until now!  It's time to trade them in for Chacos or Mions I think.  Sure did miss you guys and all the fun we had way back when.  In retracing our steps I realized just how much I miss all of our adventures.

Word out to my peops:  Nos apartmento is still for rent.  We've had multiple nibbles but no bites so we are about three days away from putting up a FOR RENT sign in the window.  Alana, any chance your mom wants to relocate?  It's not blue and we'd throw in a Christman rebate.  Quinn volunteers to move her in.  OK- I know you guys are sick of hearing about this. Bare with us and please send any condo searching friends to www.quinnandnicole.blogspot.com for info.

PS:  Don't ever stop posting pics of ANIKA!

Williams - Me, my garden, and I

It is THRIVING! I need a bigger box.

SWINGING SWINGING ALL THE DAY

I am so IN LOVE with this girl that sometimes I want to just bite her or something.

FREAKY PHOTOS

I'm pretty sure Brandon wasn't trying to flip me off but we HAD to get a good angle. Reattachment is still unsure.

Here's another random item. With a toddler in the house I sure come upon some strange things. I let her play with a lemon tonight and this is where I just found it. I don't think I'll be squeezing this over my salmon. She cracks me up!

You may not be aware, but I'm religiously addicted to MAC products... Knowing this, it may surprise you to hear of my chagrin at discovering the fact that IMOVIE has been completely renovated and changed.  It doesn't even look the same.  Ug, I hate learning new apps.  The new Word for PC is about enough to kill me.  

The story:  I was editing a wedding video (for the second time thanks to my overexposure of the original film) and had just finished when low and behold the mac laptop I was using DIED!  This is the second mac laptop I have destroyed after less than a year of service.  Yes, perhaps my love affair with Mac is a bit tainted, but fear not, I will simply stick to desktops from now on.  I hate laptops anyway.  So we ordered this new fabulous desktop mac (when I say "we" i mean my mom- I don't have the funds) and I open imovie to discover it is COMPLETELY different.  Now, not only do I have to edit the wedding video for a THIRD time... I have to learn an entire new program to do it!  Yuck.  Looks alot like final cut pro, def not as user friendly.  I'll let you know how it goes.  Wo is me.  Heading to Lake Powell again tonight.  Third time in 7 days.  Gotta love the Lake!  Alana- you up for coming out with me yet?  Wanna go tonight?  Round 9 pm.  Shish-ka-bobs will be involved.

How long 'till a good night's sleep?

So, I'm trying to cut Anika off the nursing AT LEAST in the middle of the night. It just hit me like a brick the other night that I am DONE getting up at all hours. Isn't it about time? When Anika was a newborn I was talking to another Mother and she said, "Don't worry, just hang in there 'till around 8 weeks and she will be sleeping through the night." HA! As a new Mother, I didn't know how different individual children can be (Or more like what a sucker I would be). And here I am... 60 weeks later. Anika isn't putting up much of a fuss. She half-cried and fussed for 4 minutes and now has been speaking in her jibberish language to herself. She throws some actual words in occasionally... "MaMa, Up!" I'm killing the time and encouraging myself to forge ahead by reading horror stories like THIS ONE. ... (insert uproarious laugh at section entitled "The Fun Part") That's enough to make me shudder.... To each his own. Surely, I will have to nurse for some time to come because of her rice bottles, but I swear I won't let it turn into some scene from The King and I. Sometimes I think my very soul will cave-in if I have to see my own "nursies" one more time... so that's when I comfort myself with THIS.

HE'S DONE IT AGAIN

Brandon called me up from work yesterday to say "Hi hun, I just cut the end of my finger off. I'm going to the Emergency Room." I almost passed out and said "OH NO, who's driving you? Can I meet you there?" Brandon replied, "Oh, I'm just driving myself." BOYS!!!??? WHY??!! It turned out not as badly as I thought. He cut the entire pad of his middle finger off... all the way to the bone. He said it looked strange in there with all the orange bubble fat pads. The ER doc says even with stitches its a 50/50 that it will not reattach! Uggghhh. Brandon is way too familiar with stitches and, working at a glass shop, I'm thinking, should we buy disability insurance? I have nightmares of the owner from Jones Paint and Glass who has several entire fingers missing. At glass factories they make the employees wear chain-mail sleeves on their arms because people lose arms like they lose their keys in those places. Oh, I am so paranoid. Please somebody up there protect my sweet Brandon.