AUTHOR VS AUTHOR PUT-DOWNS

here.

gave me a real belly laugh.

IDIOTS AND LUNATICS EXEMPT

THIS.

There is always something out there to make me laugh. Guess I won't be allowed to fight in the coming civil war. Bummer.

What I really teach my students:

So this week I had two heart-to-heart conversations with my students about real life lessons they should know... because let's face it: someone should tell them. No one told me and I really would have appreciated a heads up.

• Conversation 1): Sometimes all you have is looks so you better marry someone you are attracted to.

They asked me what I meant and I calmly informed them that there would be days when they absolutely loathed their spouse and the only thing getting them through the agony of frustration would be their spouse's good looks. They asked if that had ever happened to me and I simply asked them to look at a picture of Quinn and decide for themselves. I pointed out that he is tall, dark, and has a full head of hair he probably won't ever lose. I said these features were definitely not lost on me when I was selecting my eternal companion. They were shocked that I would say something so "mean." Not mean I told them, just practical. They asked if I was "living on Quinn's looks" at the moment. I said no. Mostly it had just been that baptism by fire first few years but that now we have more to go off of than looks and I actually really like him.

• Conversation 2): Prepare yourself, half of what you make you will never ever see.

I was brunt and frank with them on tax day about the reality of taxes. I broke the news to them that 40% of what they make will automatically be taken by the government and that if they are LDS like me, 10% more will go to tithing. Some of them were smart enough to do the math and figure that 1 out of every 2 dollars they'll make, they'll never keep. Do you still think I should get a raise? I asked them after we talked over some of the things their taxes will pay for. Many of them hesitated. The smart ones then made the jump to a national health care plan and in not so many words I let them stew over the cost/benefit analysis of increased welfare. There were some few souls who seemed not a bit taken back by these sharp and cutting numbers. When their friends asked them why they remained calm and unangered, they stated proudly, "My family doesn't pay taxes. I'm illegal."

Williams

Fishing. We took a fish home, although we didn't catch it. Some guy next to us caught one and asked if the kids wanted to reel it in so they did then he let them have it. They told everyone they caught a fish and they were going to take it home and cook it and eat it. But then they wouldn't even eat it after it was cooked.

Grandpa holding Nora the purple-people eater! What is he doing?

The fish we caught but didn't catch.

Columbia Gorge. Vista House. Isn't the view gorgeous.

Chew On This

1. In any conflict between two men (or two groups) who hold the same basic principles, it is the more consistent one who wins.

2. In any collaboration between two men (or two groups) who hold different basic principles, it is the more evil or irrational one who wins.

3. When opposite basic principles are clearly and openly defined, it works to the advantage of the rational side; when they are not clearly defined, but are hidden or evaded, it works to the advantage of the irrational side.


It has been a long time since something (those three rules) has shed such brilliant and immediate light on my view of existence. It was like flipping a switch. I will put it into context next time I blog, complete with a decade-in-making anecdote about a smelly, used book store and my future brother-in-law.

April 14th. Time to start doing my taxes.

Yep. I'm the one who waits until April 14th at 11 pm not only to begin filing, but to painfully rampage the house trying to find all of my forms. I ended up having to find most of them online. Ug. For my efforts, I think I should get to keep the refund this year. Seriously, why am I the designated tax spouse in the marriage? I have to admit I can't complain because upon year 1 of matrimonial pandemonium, I nominated Q to take care of all vehicle-related matters which is why he has to do the 3-month late Honda registration tomorrow so I can stop avoiding cops and driving 2 miles an hour to stay behind traffic patrols. OK- fair trade I suppose. I hate the way mechanics look at you like you're some dumb blond who doesn't deserve to look at a car let alone drive one. You know, that "pearls-before-swine" look of condescension. Maybe I'll tell Q about the refund but leave out the part about when I realized (doing taxes the RIGHT way this year) that I screwed up royally last year and cost us big $$$.

Fine. I'll settle for a luxury hair highlights appointment next week and call it even.

Love Always, -Gleek #1,987,356

Is anyone else so excited for Glee they can't stand it?

Other stuff that is making me a fan of life right now:

• Only 35 days left of school
• Q's big commission checks this last month
• Coupons to Down East Home and Furniture (so just bought Pottery Barn crib/chest set)
• Lake Powell season is right around the corner
• Alton Brown Carrot cake I am going to make for my BDay again (takes like 5 hours)
• So You Think You Can Dance is coming
• I finally broke down and watched New Moon on DVD last night and I am not addicted to thoughts of Edward today like I thought I would be!!! FREEDOM!
  

What about you? Anything making you smile lately?

I'M THE FAT ONE!!!!!!!!!!

I always thought of my friends and I as skinny and semi-descent looking. Now I just think of my friends that way!!! SERIOUSLY: CAN YOU EVEN SEE ANYONE ELSE IN THESE PHOTOS?!?!?! I'm so super huge!!! Two things are bothering me here:

• #1) That I don't look prego at all, just FAT!
• #2) That this is the first time ever I have seen myself this way (regardless of whether or not I have looked this way for a while) and I am so upset about it!!!!

• Actually let's add #3) that my mom gave birth at 117 lbs: WHAT THE HECK- WHERE ARE THOSE JEANS... I mean GENES (heaven knows I wouldn't fit into those Jeans NOT prego) NO FAIR!!!!!!!!
  

Look- I'm prego, I get the weight gain and it's fine. I just wish I was "cute skinny girl with budda-belly" and not "she's really packing it on girl with expansion in all areas." It didn't help my mindset when the other day I overheard one of my students saying to her friend in hushed tones, "Oh, she's pregnant? I just thought she was getting fat!"

It's going to take a while for me to get used to this. In the meantime, can we vow to photoshop me in all of these? I'm in shock. I never thought I see myself like this and I for sure NEVER wanted to be sporting double D's!!! I HATE BIG BOOBS! Why do I have to be the one with a massive chest when I was always the one who hated well-endowed figures? My hubby will kill me for saying that, but let's get real- These girls along with my belly are making everything look gigantic!

Freak Out Freak Out Freak Out Freak Out
I detest the way I look. And to cap it all off, I'm eating cupcakes for dinner right now.
I hate hate hate this whole business of fatness.

P.S. Alana, you look HOT!!!! No fair.

I always

Williams - Blessing

It was an eventful blessing day. Herb did a great job giving Nora her baby blessing and she looked beautiful in the dress that I made. Almost all of Herb's family came up for the occasion and all his brothers minus Taylor (missionary) were there to stand in the circle. Before Sacrament ended, while someone was bearing their testimony, Sage tapped me on the shoulder and covered her mouth. I knew instantly from the look on her face that she had to puke so I grabbed her hand and we ran. She nailed the inside of the chapel door and we ran all the way to the bathroom where she puked again. She has never puked in her life so this was a new experience for both of us. Herb took her home and after cleaning up the mess, I went back into the chapel. When I walked in the Bishop had the biggest grin on his face. I am glad they were entertained at my expense. Needless to say we didn't stay for the rest of church. We were going to have a nice family picture after the occasion too but that got nixed and so all you get is Nora and I.

Williams - Vaca

Swimming at the perfect pool.

Who took this pic with my camera?

Hiking in Snow Canyon

Thank you for the wonderful time we all had together. I had a great time talking and laughing with all of you and my sisters. It was well worth the long tortorous drive. I love all of you.

Is anyone else totally freaked out about the government pushing this census thing so forcibly?

Is anyone else totally freaked out about the government pushing this census thing so forcibly?

Ring a bell anyone? How do you think Hitler knew who all the Jews were?
Yep: Census. He was actually a revolutionary pioneer when it came to census data collecting.
He claimed citizen responsibility, held census parties, and made it a patriotic duty.
Sound familiar?
Too bad no one caught on to where he was really going to go with it five years later.

Is it just me or am I freaking out for no reason?

Still, just to play it safe, Q and I will NOT be filling out the census this year.
We own too many guns.

A Little Bit of Everything

^In Zion a couple of weekends ago. Anika still has not tired of throwing rocks in water.

^Ever wonder how they get those sailboats in the glass jars? Maybe they planted them with seeds. I have seen my Mom sprout wheat a million times in my life, but apparently I didn't pay close enough attention. My Mom has a wheat-grass juicer but I just wanted to eat the sprouts raw on salads. You sprout them in the dark so obviously the grass doesn't turn green until it gets sunlight. So I couldn't tell what was root and what was grass and inadvertently grew a lawn in a jar. When I was little I would chew on the raw grass my Mom grew. Emmet took a liking to it and ate some of it. It will take a few more tries before I have it perfected.

^Maybe Anika will take a liking to grass. I had to show this picture. You see that tiny dot of A1 sauce outside of the main puddle? Well, Anika is so compulsive that she absolutely lost her mind when that bit of A1 got out of line. She started bawling and ran down to her bedroom where she stayed alone, crying and collecting herself, for 20 minutes. wtf? And yes, my child still eats chips dipped in A1. Three corners and one side, please. Then they get discarded into perfectly straight lines. I guess Brandon lined stuff up when he was little so I'm going to blame that one on him. Big and Little Professor.

^And check out Cara's new wood floors. It makes me wish I did light colored floors. Her beautiful deck looks out over the back bay. I need to visit. And soon!


AND. Thanks for such a fun week, girls. That was a real treat!

STICKIN' IT TO THE MAN (click)

SORRY. I'M ABOUT TO RUIN YOUR DAY.

With this.

Ok. I officially want Jesus to return to earth. Like now. Like yesterday. How much longer can the world suffer the horror?

Did you catch that last paragraph? In 2001 the Chinese government covered up an explosion, saying a crazy man with dynamite blew up the school but really the kids were being labored to make fireworks. Europe is now saying China is the new economic model to get them out of trouble. Yes, China's economy is growing. They have slaves!

Again, I'm so sorry I had to share that. Maybe I'm like my Mom. She always has a 'Debbie Downer' for the day. There is something relieving about sharing shock. It's like passing the hot potato.

Ice Cream and MTV

Today a few students asked me what I thought of the health care pass last night. I am always wary of discussing politics with my students and generally never tell them my views... I don't want to lose my job. But, since I've initiated the big quit, I've grown slightly lax in my "mum's the word" policy. I responded to them by telling them the truth; that is, I told them exactly what I did AFTER the word was out.

I sat in bed, watched 16 and pregnant on MTV for hours, and started and finished an entire pint of Oreo Nelson's frozen custard.

They looked a bit confused by my response so I expounded with the side note that very few things depress me enough to watch MTV in bed whilst drowning myself in ice cream.

Dog Park

I'm going to try not to get into what I felt around 10pm last night. But it was bad. I knew it was coming. But it was bad.

Can we talk about Matheson instead? He came out 18 hours before the scheduled vote to say his would be NO. Really, Jim? You had to wait that long? Were you really undecided or were you just waiting for your master's command?

When he came out so late and with a NO, I just figured Pelosi had the votes she needed and would let some guys with hard-to-please mixed districts off the hook. When Pelosi needs him he sits up and begs like a dog. When she can get by without him, he is allowed off leash to vote as he will to keep his constituents dumb and happy. That way, he can come back in November and she can keep using him.

I'd like to think his vote was sincere but I'm just not buying it. How cynical am I? Could we please, pretty please, elect someone else this year?

SEE-ARE-UH DARLING

The blessed week is at our doors, my friends.

For those of you who somehow haven't heard, Ciara will be coming to town on Saturday. She will not arrive until the evening and I'm sure will need to catch up with her family and rest but after that I can't wait to get some best friend time.

Ciara, our thoughts will be with you as you drive all the way from Portland with three kids strapped in the back seat, one of them being a newborn. Wow. Are you honestly crazy? No, you are superwoman. All I can say is good luck with that.

Ciara said Kelli is also coming to town and Val, too! I can't wait to take the kids hiking, go lunching. And the talking. The talking! I watched old videos of us the other week and it reminded me just what great therapy the girls can be. And I can't wait to see Nora in person (very tiny person). I hope Anika warms up to Sage and Herbie and doesn't go hide in her room, per usual.

Have a safe trip. Don't talk to strangers. Check your tire pressure. Carry mace. And listen to your inner siren. We can't wait to see you!

I Have!

Have You Ever....

Lied about how many months you really have left because you are way too huge for your pregnancy?

Wiped your Cheeto fingers on your socks?

Turned the tears on for a traffic cop?

Didn't tell your hubby the real reason the house is a mess is because you took a HUGE nap?

Told someone you were on your way even though you hadn't even started your car yet?

Pretended you knew who someone was because you should have known them?

Pulled up your skirt to hike up your tights without realizing you were standing in front of a security camera?

Given someone a compliment you didn't really mean?

Eaten a candy bar so fast you didn't have time to register what kind of candy bar it was?

-------------

I HAVE!

Not My Bumper Stickers

I can be long-winded. What? You've noticed?
Let's keep it concise by hearing me contest common bumper stickers.



Unless you're a fetus.
Unborn babies have no laws to protect them, but dolphins do.
(you just know how much we adore dolphins.)



ARM YOURSELVES and free Tibet.
(I got that one from my Dad.)








Yeah, every good (did you hear that... health care is a good, not a human right!) is rationed. The world isn't perfect. And the government will pick up right where HMO's leave off.




... so they can afford to do business and employ YOU.




Support our troops... Send more! So we can get the job done fiercely and quickly so they can come home.




The rich aren't stealing your pensions! pssst... here's a little secret: The government is borrowing money from pension funds, which haven't been fully funded for ages now anyways... thanks to the unions inflating them ridiculously. You mean all I have to do is work for five whole minutes and then retire in style at 55? What a sweet gig! I deserve it!



No, I don't want anarchy. Remember a little something called the Articles of Confederation? It didn't work. It was too close to anarchy. That's why our founders had a do-over and came up with a little something called The Constitution. It was just enough government to keep it from being Somalia, while still retaining our real human rights. They nailed it exactly in the right spot along the sliding scale from totalitarianism to anarchy.


I think about Mr. Sanchez every day. He was my eighth grade history teacher. Eighth grade, at least in California is the year you learn government. Remember those little cartoons depicting the little book labeled "Bill" and the arrows that sent it to the Senate and the House? Especially the last few days, I keep seeing those images in my mind.

But I also remember the checks and balances. I remember the "will of the governed". I remember "We the people". I also remember Blaine Sullivan, my first boyfriend that asked, "Will you go out with me?" (Remember when people used to 'go out' with one another?) He was in my history and art class and I lived for those hours. Maybe that's why I can remember it like it was yesterday? More likely, it just stuck.

Boy Scouts

Ever simultaneously purchased both of these boxes around day 29 of your cycle?
Prepare for the worst. Hope for the best.

Interpret 'best' and 'worst' whichever way you like; the meaning is not lost.

Remember during Snowmagedon in February and all the grocery stores in the northeast were emptying out? On the news were pictures of bare shelves and aisles with nothing but a few lonely grapefruits. That's what happens when it snows. In the wintertime!

I've always wanted to be off the grid. Even since I was fifteen and thought my world was eternal, untouchable. I want to move to the boonies, always have. You guys know this about me. But now I actually want to make it happen. I've had an awakening wherein I've realized Hey, I'm 30. This is my life. This is the thick of it so create your own reality. I want to shovel manure and grow basil, beyotches.

I hope for the best. I hope I don't ever have to go without. I especially hope I never have to witness Anika going without on account of my unpreparedness. Getting off the grid could be considered preparing for the worst. And it is. But it just so happens that's exactly what I've always wanted from life to begin with. It's a win-win. And it's time for me to make it happen.

Be prepared.

Response to Nightmarish

Quinn makes fun of me because I call them "nightmirrors," but truly how not are our dreams a reflection of our inner psyche? ...and if they are a reflection of our inner psyche, then they are nightmares indeed. Just consult my sodomy cat dream of last week to completely freak yourself out about ever speaking to me again. Then again, I am prego so that should lend some leeway concerning my accountability.

The truth be told, I had to give up FOX NEWS for a term. Yes, even my beloved Megan Kelly. I couldn't deal with the helplessness of how I feel. You can only scream LISTEN LISTEN LISTEN so many times before you lose your voice... or worse, your HEART in the matter.

That's why they are so smart. They know that if they outlast us, there's a good chance we'll lose our voices... it's our hearts I'm worried about. We can't lose our hearts.

There is a scripture that states, "In the last days, men's hearts will fail them." Now, I always assumed that was a nod toward Americans' growing pornography addiction, but it could also suggest our wavering resolution to fight for freedom. If I'm watching American Idol instead of FOX NEWS, has my heart failed me? Have I given up?

Oh Bill. Bill, I still adore you. I still have Bold Fresh on my to read list, I just can't handle the ignorance anymore. I need to face problems I feel I can solve like marital controversy or family tension... or cancer. The National Health Care plan is making me too tired for sleep (as Alana confirms).

My ultimate thoughts: I believe the hoodlums in Washington are masquerading behind the enemy lines of "Democrat" and "Republican" because they don't want Americans to know the real truth. That truth is that this isn't a fight between parties. They know that as long as they keep us "pinpointing the enemy" in another party, most of us (who don't recognize propaganda) will be too busy shouting that we won't notice the battle behind the scenes; the real battle- the one that will change our future and our country and essentially pull our freedom from us like a rug being swept away under our feet leaving us to fall on the rock hard ground of socialism and Godless society.

That battle my friends does have two sides, it's just not the sides you're hearing about in the Times, from Obama's masterful Public Relations team (who are sure to number in the thousands), or on biased network news that still refuses to recognize the tea party isn't about Boston and pilgrims anymore.

The real battle isn't Republicans vs. Democrats, NEWSFLASH: It's Traditionalists vs. Secular-Progressivists!

The battle that will change America is between:

Traditionalists who value, uphold, understand, and support the constitution, accountability, are God fearing, and do NOT subscribe to entitlement. They are a value-setting and abiding people. They are the working class who desire private sectors to lead industry, motivation, and responsibility.

...and Secular Progressivists who value the power of the institution above individual rights, use entitlement as a tool to control the masses and the dividends of the masses, and promote agendas despite denial and protest by those their agendas would enslave. They eliminate God from government conscious and "interpret" the constitution to serve their views.

I am a traditionalist.
I see through the mist of darkness and recognize the real battle.
I take breaks from FOX NEWS so I can sleep some nights.
I am sick over how many Obama Public Relations employees my tax dollars are supporting.

I also think Nancy Pelosi is Lucifer in the ethereal.

temporary fix

You can change it if you hate it, but for now I had to get rid of that old banner. It was UG-LY!! I think now I may be able to post!

What!?!?! Midnight?!?!! I am going to die tomorrow at work. Photoshop is an endless time-swallowing pit.

Good Night.

Nightmarish

On Saturday we told Anika we could go to Pirate Island Pizza. Then we thought we would like to take her to The Princess and the Frog movie. She already had her little heart set on pirate's pizza. Brandon would not quit trying to talk her in to the movie. He does this often. "C'mon, Anika, it will be fun. You'll see," he says. I call him Obama when he does this. I said, "She said NO! She's not stupid. She knows what the movie is. And she knows what pirate's pizza entails. She said NO and she means NO!" I wanted to see the movie instead, too. But we had made the mistake of mentioning the pizza place before it happened.

My skin is crawling. I am sick. Helpless. I have nightmares.

Pelosi. Obama. They think they know better than you, than me. I know what this bill entails and I do. not. want. it. They don't have the votes from their own party but they are going to make it happen anyways. You heard it yourself when Pelosi said they would go over the wall and parachute in and all that bull. And just today, talking about this 'slaughter rule'. She said she likes it because the house doesn't have to vote. Excuse me? I realize that this kind of stuff has been happening for years, from both sides. They all suck! And using these lousy, cheating ways on something this huge?

When Anika asks to sing songs at night I say, "how many? Should we sing two songs" knowing full well she wants more. To my prediction she always says, "No. Three songs." Weasel-y of me, no? Does this sound familiar? I wanted to kill someone during that health care summit two weeks ago when Obama said he wasn't getting what he initially wanted and compromised so the Republicans should compromise too. You little weasel. No public option? Yeah, how long will that last? They know exactly what they want and how they are going to get it. Soon a public option along with private and how long would that last? How long could private insurers compete with the government?

I'm especially sick of this: Well, you uneducated, middle-class, red-state people are the ones that will benefit from this. Are you too stupid to know what is good for you?

To reiterate: I know what this bill is. I know (and fear) where it will lead. I don't want it. I already had my heart set on retaining my liberties. I want to go to Pirate Island Pizza, dammit.

Can you fathom your tax dollars funding abortions?

And what of the student loan provisions in the "health care" (power) bill? Is anyone else uncomfortable with this? With the government, in essence, funding all student loans? Talk about power. Who gets money? How much? What school gets what? How much? Depending on what they teach? How diverse they are?

I had a horrible nightmare the other night. Remember the invisible vacuum cleaner dream I shared a long time ago? Well this is much more disturbing and not an ounce of funny. I was at the mall (ok, kind of funny), which was converted to some sort of government building, being forced to take part in a ceremony. I was being married to a dirty old man. Each man got five wives, some of them small children. Immediately after the ceremony, each of the women/girls was forced to have a tubal ligation. (Think Brigham Young meets Aldous Huxley).

Speaking of Huxley, I never thought my Utopia in Literature class at Dixie college would inspire so much thought in me down the road. Ah, socialist utopias. Aren't they great?

My family is made up of different political views. I've been told I'm subscribing to fear-mongering. Some think I'm panicking. And it honestly kind of feels like it. This bill is nothing but a big fat foot in the door... to more!

Obama says the Bill of Rights lists only negative liberties. Exactly! It's all about what the government should not do to you. Or for you!

I've lost a lot of sleep thinking about what is right and wrong. What about the law of consecration ? Tithing? Is Harry Reid right? Should I be rooting for social justice because I am a Mormon? I read this page of statistics Octoberish last year and just about threw up. I had a life crisis wherein I truly realized just how gross consumerism is, just how much of a bubble I live in, and even flirted with the idea that America really is The Great Satan. I cannot begin to tell you how much sleep I have lost, people. I have been so absent from blog land because I didn't want to vent. I feel like if I start getting this all off my chest I can go back to the way we were. You know, talking about the wet US water polo team and microwaved nachos. I miss that.

But back to Harry Reid and Satan. I have done much thinking and pondering and have gained a testimony, if you will, of the Constitution of the United States of America. You either believe in it or you don't. You either believe it was divinely inspired or you don't. You're either comfortable with deviating away from it or you are not. Kind of like the gospel. There is no gray area. You're either for it or you are not. You're either totally comfortable with socialists in the White House or you are not. You're either comfortable with our president surrounding himself with admitted communists or you are not. I had a moment when the decision became final for me. It was when I made the connection that Satan wanted to force us to be good.

Being good is good, you say. Well, yeah. I feel sorry for the poor children and suffering people of the world. It makes me sick. It's tempting to lower our standard of living to help everyone else. It seems like the right thing. But I want the 1/3 of humanity without electricity to also have electricity. I want them to have what I have. That's why we need to share with them what we can (things-wise) and then help them, somehow, establish the same kind of freedom and liberty we have here. Or at least the same kind of freedom our founders intended. You put the oxygen mask on yourself first and then give the oxygen to your child if you really want to help.

I was raised Mormon. But there came I time when I had to gain my own testimony. Was I brainwashed or did I really ponder and receive personal revelation that the gospel is true? It's a long story for another day but I have had a strong testimony since I was very young. I was raised by a father that was a registered Libertarian and a member of the NRA. Was I brainwashed? Again, you either believe in the beautiful thing called the constitution or you do not. Both big parties suck and are one in the same. My Dad had it right all along. I believe our founding fathers were divinely inspired. Do you? I believe the radical freedoms available here created the only place on the planet, including the dimension of time, where the Church could have been restored and grown. I believe America was a flash of genius.

If this thing goes through. Which I think it will. I am going to cry. But you aren't insured, Alana. It will help you. Thanks, but no thanks. It would be great if insurance was affordable. Health care does need to be fixed and immediately. But with means from the exact other end of the spectrum. I'm in a real pickle as a baby-hungry, uninsured, middle-class American. But it's a pickle I've gotten myself into. And I'm trying to get myself out of it. I'm working on ways to de-pickle myself. And I rather enjoy fixing things myself.

But back to crying. The moment my government tells me I must purchase health insurance is the moment I join the local survivalist militia. But it's the law to have car insurance, you say? It's not the law to own a car! I can't help that I live in this body! Be forced to purchase something just for being alive? Hell no! But we'll send you subsidy checks to purchase it, you say? Thanks but no thanks. I'd rather have my liberty. That check would get a big red return-to-sender and maybe an up-yours written on it and sent back. I hope they arrest me. Because I would win in court!

In essence, I've done a lot of pondering these last months. I've done a lot of thinking about what and how much things mean to me. I've done a lot of thinking about what is best for Anika. And what I would be willing to do to preserve that.

Maybe I can move on now. Forgive this rant-like stream of consciousness. Consider it a rough draft. Maybe later I can tell you more about my thoughts. Maybe even about what formed in my mind when The Da Vinci code was big and how it relates to my Grandfather's war medals, the Antichrist and cap and trade.

For now, it's off for yet ANOTHER restless night full of nightmares. You would honestly freak if you saw how long I lay awake staring. I might doze off around 2:30 and then I'll at least have Nancy and Che Guevara to keep me company. Cleon Skousen and reconciliation and tubal ligations, oh my!

oh p.s. I went totally Vegan! (except on the weekends) And I'm even sprouting my own wheat to eat raw! Stay tuned for my thoughts on blood, chlorophyll, the resurrection and the nature of light. Don't y'all think I should start back on the Unisom?

Williams - Hiking

The weather has been amazing this winter. We have hardly seen much rain and it has been in the 60's and sunny so we made the most of it on Saturday and went hiking. It was quite an adventure with all three kids.

Recorse

Ironic- Yesterday after I wrote that post, I was emailed the pictures of my new niece who was born while I was typing "no birth stories please."

Justification: Having a kid is a big deal. I'm glad when things go well for everyone.

Clarification: I don't mind hearing gory details about any operation. I don't shirk from blood and guts.

Validation: It's the gushing, of course everyone on the planet wants to hear this- even strangers- mushiness that doesn't interest me.

Application: I'm interested in my friend's stories because I feel that the worse the details sound, the better I'll be prepared when I go in and engage in the suffering.

-------------------------------------------

Moving On:

Today is the last day of 3rd quarter!!! I am sitting in 5th period whilst the kids watch "The Wave" and am thinking about all those days before now when I honestly questioned my ability to get to this point! Yipee!!! Spring Break officially starts in 6 hours and then it's downhill from here. I'm a little worried about losing the safety net of adding to our savings each month, but I am so excited and proud that I met my 3-year goal!

You should be here to experience the pandemonium in our district. Word out on the street (or in the faculty room) is that 70 teachers in our district will be laid off. At our school alone everyone is shifting subjects or being cut classes so they lose part of their salary and in some cases insurance. The Math teacher is going to have to teach Choir next year (which she has never done in 25 years but because she has a music minor....), the drama teacher is taking 3 of my classes... it's crazy! I feel like I'm watching a huge bloody wreck from the safety of my car window. There's nothing I can do, and since I quit-I'm not part of the wreck, but I can't take my eyes off it anyhow.

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Hawaii

I'm going to Hawaii tonight! Q and I are using our left over Brazil money to take his money to Kaui to see the Whales. It really didn't hit me we were going until yesterday when suddenly I realized Spring is upon us. I still can't believe we get to go! We got great deals by using points to buy half our airfare. We got a rental car for the week for only $150.00, and our condo right on the cliffs overlooking the whales was only $150/night for 5 of us. This may be our last big hoo-rah for a while seeing as how we will be absolutely poverty stricken come my last paycheck in August. Better enjoy it right? I'll be the whale watching the whales.

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Dear Alana

Can we become real friends again come June? You know, the kind that actually see each other every now and again instead of resorting to blogging to keep the friendship going?

Dear Ciara

Are you coming to SGU in March? (I hope)

Sorry- I just don't see the need.

I just don't care about birthing stories. Sorry. I don't care how long it took to get the thing out. I don't care about what time the labor started. I don't even care if I get a phone call telling me someone is entering the hospital to go into labor. I especially do not like texts or emails of the slimy little package when it finally does arrive. These things are at the very bottom of my interest list. I'd much rather discuss Kafka.

So.... I'm just now realizing that my views on labor tales may be part of the minority. Otherwise, why would people keep telling me and sending me all of these details? Is it because I am prego myself? Do people expect me to dish the second little Q pops his/her eyes open for the first time?

Am I a cold hearted snake? I am astounded that the rest of the population really is interested in this stuff!

Feedback requested.

What Is This Internet Thing?

Ha ha! Read this article.

It was published in Newsweek in 1995 and is about how the internet will never work.

When I want a reminder of how long I've known Brandon, I just remember that Brandon was the one who taught me how to use the internet. It was 1998. (I suppose I was a little late on the scene.) We used a search engine called Northern Light. He was like, "See, you just type what you want to know about in here and then it pops up." I was floored.

The first time I had ever even seen the internet was in 1997. I was accepted to Joffrey Ballet and another girl at Ballet West was accepted as well. She took me to the computer lab in the ballet department at the U of U and she looked up places to board. I remember thinking what is this internet thing?

Random Thoughts

1. Can you believe I am still sitting in a classroom right now? I mean, after all this time- I am still sitting in class? I can't imagine what it will feel like to not be sitting in a class.
2. I am close to splurging on the Uppa Baby Vista 2010. Frivilous?
3. I am currently married to an older man and it feels way sexy... well it did, until Q pointed out that he is always older than me. The really took some wind out of those sails.
4. I had a confrontation with a belligerent student before 8:00 am this morning. That can't be a good sign for how today will pan out.
5. I can live with lime green.
   
6. Will I ever be skinny again? I can't imagine what it will feel like to tuck my shirt in!
7. (hours later) What if I threw up in front of 3rd period right this moment?
8. What is the weather like in New York right now?
9. Bras are torture devices made to perpetuate sexism.
10. 4 days to Spring break. Survive. Survive.