old people, enzymes, roofies, oh my!

My Brandino, the old timer.
I took Brandon to get an epidural steroid injection in his neck at the Zion Pain Management clinic. The place was full of old timers and I couldn't help but panic. We have such a long way to go that we just can't start going down hill yet! Brandon's neck has been in pain for pretty much the whole time I've known him. He has a ruptured disc that he has traced back (with his fanciful imagination) to Josh Leavitt tackling him at the sand dunes years and years ago.

Hopefully, this will provide him some relief and I will start seeing that Brandon he's been promising me for all these years... you know, the one who isn't completely senile. The neck pain has been his scapegoat, and rightfully so, but he just deserves some relief.

Pampered Princey, pampered Princey, night and day its pampered Princey. Rub my backey, ice my armey, juice me up some nice fresh juicy.

Back to old age: I can't imagine it! Inching along with a walker with the voice I use when I read "and the quiet old lady whispering hush" to Anika does not sound like a way to live. Hopefully, I will age well, like my Mother. She is 68 and still doesn't even have gray hair. She has a few growing out of her crown now that she makes me pluck with tweezers. I am the only daughter that will do this chore. My nephew Ian tried once and just cringed when he saw the scalp rebound. She gave birth to me, after all, and I hope Anika will pluck my grays one day.

I fear it may be official, this child-lead weaning business. I have read about nursing strikes, or self- weaning but never thought Anika would be the child to do it. It all started that week Ciara was here and I was out at night occasionally. I have tried all sorts of things to get her to nurse again, all the while wondering why the hell I can't let go. Again, as usual, it's Mama with the separation anxiety. Mostly, I worry a lot about her nutrition, and was always comforted that at least she was getting a few ounces of liquid gold.

Anika's pediatrician said I could give her Pediasure 3 times a day. I gratefully took some samples home and when I looked for the nutrition facts on the package they weren't there! Isn't that regulated by the FDA? First ingredient: water. Second ingredient: sugar. This can't be good. I had to look up the grams of sugar online. 18 grams of sugar!!! That's 4 1/2 teaspoons, 3 times a day! The equivalent sugar-dose for my weight each day would be around 150 grams of sugar. The bottle has a cute, healthy, energetic bear on the package... and I am thinking, shouldn't this cute teddy also be preparing its insulin injection? Complete, balanced nutrition. (Yeah, if you want an Autism Spectrum Disorder, diabetes, or ADD). "All the vitamins and minerals you need". They should add, "negated by the sugar." How sad. Even sadder is that her own Doctor recommends whiplashing my little one's pancreas. Trust me, there will be plenty of time for cotton candy, Lady! Worthless!

Her ped said it was good because it has 30 cals/ oz. instead of breast, formula, and cow with 20 cals/ oz.
Aren't we trying to get her to eat? It tastes like melted ice cream and probably is. I don't think bananas will taste good after a diet of ice cream.

I have been achieving this 30 cals/ oz. with rice dissolved with breast milk, but can no longer pump enough now that Anika wont nurse. The rice just will not dissolve in anything else! So... after much pondering for a solution, I bought some capsules of digestive enzymes. I just break them open and dump them in her rice cereal and cow milk. In about 10 minutes... VOILA! Runny and bottle-ready, just like breast milk! Sure, I feel like I'm giving her a roofie, but... it works!!! I suspected success, but I still felt like I won the Mommy Nobel Prize. 30 cals/ oz., iron fortified... and no mountains of white sugar.

I didn't think I would let myself go off like this again about Anika but I can't help it; it's what my life revolves around. She still loves mowing up her Cheezits and spitting them out. She likes yogurt too, but after much observation and experimenting with elimination, I have discovered its the yogurt that gives her the runs! It's awful, even waking her at night. What a joke it has been trying to figure out what Anika's deal is. Maybe I will try goat's-milk yogurt, as it has less lactose.

Do you find this as fascinating as I do? After early childhood (around when natural weaning occurs!!! hmmmm?) our bodies quit making the enzyme that breaks down the "milk sugars". So many people have dairy trouble, like Brandon. Give him a "Greaseball special" from Pasta Factory and it is bad news. Human beings weren't meant to eat like we do. Supplementing enzymes will help Anika generally, besides making her rice runny. Fascinating! Read THIS.

Speaking of Pasta Factory, I went in this morning and Jenny trained me on the new computers. I'm nervous for some reason. I don't know if it is because I don't want to screw up or just because I've hardly tasted fresh air for two years, let alone, associated with human beings. I think it will be beneficial to me, mentally and emotionally, to get out for a few hours.

I promise I'll try to rant less often. I should quit worrying about Anika's diet and work on mine! I have completely forgotten about my own health and nutrition, and I know I don't produce any "chimichanga enzymes." Officially, ... chimichase???